but the lizard people decide everything anyway
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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