this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
