New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
