Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
