I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
