His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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