Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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