Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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