Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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