This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Randomize
