dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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