he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
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