got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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