No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
