So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
