Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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