I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
