Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
