The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
did i walk over a car last night?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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