The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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