wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
