My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
