Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
