Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
