ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
