even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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