do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
