watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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