im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
