your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
