I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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