Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
