CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
