he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She's the barista slut.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
