you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Are we still banned from the library?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
