I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize