Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize