i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize