i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
