if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
