Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
