And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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