Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
