You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize