And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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