he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
