At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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