There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
how do flat chested girls get laid?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
