Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
