So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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