My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
