ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
