You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
