i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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