im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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