So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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