If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
