Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
